Gwyneth Paltrow

Gwen-Palts. Totes imports.

Nothing to do with goods and produce – including pillars of civilization like iPhones, condoms and red wine – being imported from one country to another, imports is tweetable shorthand for important. Imports decisions you encounter on a daily basis include choosing what kind of Instagram filters to use on photos of your lunch (e.g. will this pizza look more tantalizing in Lo-Fi or Nashville?), and whether or not to mark yourself down as “attending” on the Facebook party event of that weird drunk guy you met once and feel a bit sorry for, even though you know your presence is about as likely as Gwyneth Paltrow being humble while eating McDonald’s.

“He’s not answering his phone and we’re completely out of gluten-free waffles! This is totes imports!”

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