Morrissey and his quiff, March 1984.

“What diffs does it make?”

Morrissey and his generation-defining quiff once pertinently enquired, “What difference does it make?” Had Twitter existed in 1984, the Mozfather might’ve sung, “What diffs does it make?” (FYI: the short answer is either “none”, “some”, or “lots”, depending on how existentially adrift you are.)

Where once you found different or difference, you will now often find diffs. Diffs people, for example, are the unusuals, the individuals, the visionaries, the pioneers. Like Mark Zuckerberg. Or Susan Boyle. They roam free in the blossoming wilds of their own imaginations, rather than surrendering to the dismal grind of running with the pack. Not for them a life of misspelled status updates about hangovers and the shittiness of the daily commute to the job that has left a withered husk where their soul used to be.

“I love that colour on you. It’s so diffs from your yoozh look.”

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