Probs

Winona Ryder in Reality Bites. Grunge was amazing.

“Yeah, I probs will get dressed at some point this week.”

It can mean one of two things, this abbrev. Either that which Jay-Z famously rapped about having 99 of (problems). Or what you say when someone asks if you’ll be out later, and you know there’s a good chance you’ll just stay in, eat cereal and Facebook-stalk people you think might sleep with you if enough alcohol was involved, but you want to keep your options – such as they are – open (probably).

Two random sentences plucked from a Twitter search illustrate this divide:

  • “I can’t stand being around people with attitude probs.” (Translation: “My unhappy childhood means I’ll spend the rest of my life starting fights with total strangers.”)
  • Probs won’t make it through the whole day without crying lol.” (Translation: “Please, somebody – ANYBODY – ask me if I’m okay. Twitter needs to hear about my misery in detail, but I can’t just tweet it apropos of nothing because that would be weird.”)

Insecurity and despair are the real grease on the internet’s wheels. (And porn, obvs.)

“I got 99 probs but ridic ain’t one.”  

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