Nevs

She’s nevs drinking that much again.

Like pride, nevs comes before a fall. Because all too often, when someone says they’re nevs going to do something again – like sleep with that insensitive ass-hat who doesn’t return their calls, take any more shit from their boss, or eat unethically sourced meat – before you know it, they’re flat on their back in that sock-scented bedroom, sending pleading late-night emails on their BlackBerry and inhaling a Big Mac as though it were oxygen.

If the adverb never were an adolescent girl going through a not entirely convincing phase of teenage rebellion, she would be nevs – more likely, for example, to spite her mother by turning vegetarian, rather than doing anything properly hardcore like going to a three-day rave with her new 30-year-old ex-convict boyfriend.

“Seize the day, babes. It’s now or nevs.”

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