Appaz. Apparently. Tom Cruise. Katie Holmes.

Appaz TomKat’s marriage was in no way staged.

If you’re spreading idle gossip that might not strictly be true – engaging, for example, in Chinese whispers about the sexual proclivities of that total arsehole from the HR department who keeps trying to get you fired; or unwisely repeating things said by Tits McGee, the constantly smashed girl from the bar whose real name no one can ever remember – you might seek to protect whatever’s left of your integrity by qualifying the statement with a sly appaz.

Basically apparently with its legs chopped off and a z glued, Human Centipedelike, to its arse, appaz enables you to pass off information as probably accurate, while simultaneously allowing for the fact that you might be talking total bollocks. So it’s no surprise that it comes in particularly handy on Twitter – spiritual home of errant rumour, wild accusation and falsely reported celebrity death.

“Appaz that is her original nose.”

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